I recently received a 90-minute massage. The therapist was lovely. She seemed eager to please, asking about my problem areas and preferences before I got settled on the table. She checked in with me regarding pressure and focused on the problems I had mentioned to her. There was nothing about her technique to criticize. So why did I describe the massage as ”just okay?”
It wasn’t until the following day that I realized why the massage felt less than satisfying.
The therapist was trying to “fix” me. Instead of the focus on my problems, I would have preferred she be present with ME and not concentrating on my areas of pain.
I teach massage – with my teaching partner Cindy in a live-class format, on-line in a digital format, and as often as I can in-person with a caregiver or family member. I’ve been providing massage since 2006. While in massage school I was taught, well… more like programmed to “fix” the person I was massaging.
As people arrived in my clinic I asked about pain, tight muscles and soreness. It’s what massage therapists do… they fix the pain, the tight muscles, the soreness, right?
As I grew in my skill and attended numerous classes, I learned that there is more to massage than trying to “fix” the person you are working on. I learned about deep relaxation and how massage calms the central nervous system. I learned about presence and how healing it can be to simply but intentionally BE with someone, just as they are. I experienced the great benefits of gentle-touch massage. And, I learned that I don’t have to “fix” pain, tight muscles and soreness to help someone feel better.
My motto remains, “massage does not have to hurt to be effective.” I experience this reality as a therapist time and time again. Last week I was on the receiving end of this lesson. It was an experience I won’t forget.
