A Not-So-Touching Story, by Cindy
I didn’t intend to break any laws this week. I was just trying to renew my massage license.
Back in November, I received an email from the Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation, informing me that my license would expire on January 31, 2020. I promptly completed the renewal online, scanned my CE certificates, and paid the $75 fee. On the receipt (dated December 2nd) was a note, stating that Texas now requires massage therapists to be fingerprinted. The note said that TDLR would email further instructions. I filed the receipt and life went on.
Except that no email ever arrived with instructions for fingerprinting.
Last Monday, TDLR emailed me again, stating that my license would expire on Friday. WHAT??? I attempted to call TDLR. A recording said the wait time to speak to a representative was 90 minutes. There was an option to “save” my place in line by leaving a message, with assurance that TDLR would call me back. Except that they did not call me back.
On Tuesday, I attempted to call TDLR again. Wait time was now 120 minutes. I saved my place in line by leaving a message. I submitted a message on the website, stating my dilemma. No response from TDLR.
In desperation, I took Wednesday off work to devote myself to the project of renewing my license. I called TDLR at 8:01 AM, hoping to be first in line. Wait time was 36 minutes. MUCH better! I placed my phone on speaker, determined not to be annoyed by the music. I had my coffee. I brushed my teeth. I read the paper. I fed the dogs. I folded laundry. I had eggs for breakfast. At 9:23, considerably longer than 36 minutes later, “Kim” came on the line. Hallelujah!!!
Kim said yes, I can see your payment on December 2nd. But where are your fingerprints? Kim, I said, I never received instructions for the fingerprints. Kim replied it takes three to four weeks. Yes, Kim, but I paid the renewal fee on December 2nd, which was nearly eight weeks ago. Kim said good point, and she would put in a request for TDLR to send me fingerprint instructions. How long will that take, I asked. Up to a week, she said. But Kim, I said, my license expires on FRIDAY! You can go ahead and practice without a license, Kim said, until you receive further instructions from us. Really??! That did not seem right. I decided to take matters into my own hands, literally.
I googled fingerprints in Dallas. One of our police precincts does indeed offer fingerprints (but only from 10 to 11 AM, Monday through Thursday). The precinct was located 20 minutes from my home. It was now 10:45, giving me 15 minutes for a 20-minute drive. I grabbed my wallet and flew out the door. In my PAJAMAS. I was certain I could make it. I drove like a fiend. Mercifully, there were no police on my route.
I pulled into the precinct parking lot. No open parking places. According to my phone, I had 90 seconds until the fingerprint office would close. I did the only thing I COULD do under the circumstances, I parked ILLEGALLY and sprinted through the door (in my pajamas, remember).
A very nice but humorless officer took my fingerprints. As you can see, they make my fingers look VERY BIG. Hopefully, my mug shot will be a lot more flattering. I paid $10 cash and thanked him, slightly out of breath. My car was where I left it, no ticket on the dash. I was feeling very lucky. I drove home and scanned my fingerprints to TDLR. No sooner had I pushed send than an email from TDLR pinged my in-box. The email stated that TDLR has a contract with a SPECIFIC VENDOR to conduct fingerprinting. WHAT???
I took Friday off work to start the fingerprint process over. This time I followed the instructions that TDLR finally sent me. Too late to renew by the deadline, but at least I did not wear my pajamas to the appointment. I did not speed to get there. I did not park illegally. I think enough laws have already been broken.
