When You’re Not Informed of Your Patient’s Death

When contracting with a hospice agency, communication can be limited.

My routine is to contact the primary caregiver the day before my visit to ensure the scheduled time still works. Recently I reached out to the wife of a patient I have seen on a weekly basis for several months. It was a magical relationship between patient, wife and me. We enjoyed each other’s company, joked around, learned about each other’s families, etc. He loved massage and looked forward to my visits.

On Monday, before our scheduled visit on Tuesday, I reached out to Mary. She informed me that Joe passed last Thursday. I was devastated.  Not only because of the death, which hurt deeply, but because SHE had to tell me. I felt I should have been informed by the agency which would have eliminated the need for my call to Mary.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. But, this one really hurt because MARY had to do the informing.

After thinking it through for a few days, I called the agency and kindly and calmly discussed the situation.  I asked if they could be more diligent in informing me when one of my assigned patients passes. She apologized profusely and immediately sent an email to all staff. I was happy I made the call.

Since that conversation, I have arrived to see three different patients and the care-home owner informed me of the patient’s passing. At least it wasn’t a spouse.

My take-away: be prepared to learn about deaths from primary caregivers; continue being as compassionate as possible even when you feel a little shocked and hurt that you were not informed; continue sending sympathy cards; continue supporting my agency and understanding they are far busier than I.